Walk this way.
It's so dark.
Yes. Well.
Why do you keep it so dark?
I don't know.
We'll need more illumination than this.
I'm creating a mood. Who's your best boy?
My personal life is not any of your
business - Frank, are we taping?
He's not here, Barbara.
Frank.
Frank!
Barbara, he can't hear you.
He probably stopped to chat with
that attractive assistant of yours.
Lust.
What can I tell you? He's Italian.
I mean my assistant. Her name is Lust.
One of the seven deadly sins. I see.
Well, we don't call them that here.
Ah ha! I was right! This is Hell.
You just won't let that go.
The blindfold tipped me off.
It smelled of pitch and sulfer.
I thought that was your perfume.
Very funny.
And speaking of lust -
It's Monica Lewenski!
- as Mary Todd Lincoln. Ironically, the last time around
she was married to an honest president. A double irony.
I notice she had a weight
problem in that life, too.
Yes - but her enunciation
was very p'woper.
I beg your pardon? Are you mocking me?
I'm trying my best to avoid it.
Let's move on, then.
Here we have the television evangelist
Jerry Falwell - both past and present.
Polish peasant and American prude.
They're so lifelike. I almost expect them to speak.
In 1890, he was a pretentious old hag. Rather like now.
Nornya Wankasaloff was the name in that incarnation.
Silly old Nornya. She was considered a saint by some,
and a pillar of her community. But her life was a lie.
Old Nornya Wankasaloff had some naughty secrets.
You don't say.
Which were exposed in the year
1900,
at the turn of the century.
Hmm.
Just as her current incarnation's naughty secrets will
be
exposed two years from now, in 2000 CE - April 15th.
I don't suppose you'd share some of them with us.
Well. No.
Because I'm always on the lookout for good scoop.
Then follow me, please.
Or, you can take the side tour to
Satan's Favorite Things
or return to