My cleaning woman has been pestering me. "When you gonna put Blanca on the Wide Worlds Web?" she screams over the vacuum cleaner. "I got things I want to say." Yeah, I just bet she does. But the thought of Blanca Delgado loosed, like Pandora's Troubles, upon the Internet is, well, troubling. Don't get me wrong. She's very bright. Occasionally she's even clever. Still, the woman is absolutely crazy and refuses to take 'no' for an answer. Last week she started leaving postits in my underwear. "LET ME SPIN MY WEB, GIMME A PAGE OR ELSE, BLANCA AND BILL GATES FOREVER." So against my better judgement, I've agreed to let her vent spleen here in Max City. I'm hoping the experience will improve her English. Or at least get her off my back. Her 'column,' as she now calls it, will be updated once a month. She hopes. May God forgive me.