Thunder at bedtime and darkness at morning,
Storms from the hills that bear down without warning,
Snakes under blankets, a hornet that stings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Rats that spread plague, a big swarm of mosquitos,
Look! The fat content in one bag of Cheetos!
Toads pissing warts every time Streisand sings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Smoking and boozing and LSD crashes
Cocaine that gets in my nose and eyelashes,
Unhappy housewives, a husband with flings,
These are a few of my favorite things ...
When the night dies, when the dawn breaks,
When I'm feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Tapeworms in puppies and ringworms on kittens,
Frostbitten hands tucked in frostbitten mittens.
Days without sunshine, a bird without wings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Heartless physicians with HMO guidelines,
Nuclear stockpiles and USA landmines,
People resigned to whatever life brings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Children that catch and kill God's little creatures,
Most Roman bishops and all Baptist preachers,
Prostitutes, pimps and a lover who clings,
These are a few of my favorite things ...
Angels taunt me, humans haunt me,
Makes me glum and s-aaaaad,
But then I remember my favorite things,
And soon I don't feel so b-aaaaaaad.
Music by Oscar Hammerstien
*Revised Lyrics: Max Pearson
For my friend FRITZ DICKMANN on his 40th birthday.
