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Dear Anna,
I've been watching the news lately and I'm shocked by the actions of President Clinton in the Monica Lewinsky affair. As the resident artist of a small Christian community not to mention a lifelong Republican, I am outraged that such shenanigans are taking place inside our White House. Am I wrong? What do you, a foreign lady, think of Clinton's lewd behavior? Signed,
Finally, a political question! (That, dear readers, is an example of sarcasm. As you may suspect, in Russia we have no use for sarcastic remarks. Slavic peoples are plain speaking, and we make short shrift of linguistic embellishments. Our simple phrases are built upon the blood of the working classes, and backed by Bolshevik bullets!) In the matter of President Clinton's philandering, you must forgive my lack of knowledge or interest. However, if Clinton's sexual prowess distresses you, perhaps you should consider switching political affiliations. I will send you a tract outlining the goals and principles of the World Communist Party. I will also add your name, Sarah Ivers, to the Young Communist League's Mailing List so that everyone in your home town will know that social awareness has finally found a home in America's heartland.
Sincerely,
My sister and I are identical twins. We're both mature women, we both have successful careers, and we're both happily married. Problem is, when we go out in public, even if it's just to the cafeteria with our husbands, 'Tammy' wants us to dress alike - same blouse, same skirt, same shoes, same bag, same makeup , same everything. Now, Anna, that silliness is fine for children, even teenagers can get away with it. But I feel that adults who continue the practice are probably attention-starved. Anyway, next week we're throwing each other a surprise birthday party and I just know Tammy will insist I appear before our guests in the same outfit she's wearing. What do you think, Anna? Signed,
I think you and you sister should attend the party naked. Yes, naked. Make a social statement with your nudity. Tell everyone there that Anna says you are both revolting and that you refuse to wear clothes ever again until America's homeless problem is addressed. (For added emphasis, you may want to dye your pubic hair bright red, the color of the revolution!) Let me know how this works out for you. Sincerely,
Mad in Iowa
Dear Mad,
Anna
Dear Anna,
Her Own Identity
Dear Her,
Anna
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